Honoring Mother’s Day Differently | Twin Cities, MN Family Photographer
There’s so many “(insert name day here) Day” dates on the calendar that I find myself confused as to which is what.
Mother's Day as that recognizable second Sunday in May is one of those familiar days. For some, it's a day of joyful celebration filled with flowers, brunches, and heartfelt cards. For others, it’s more complicated, filled with grief, longing, or even indifference. No matter where you find yourself, this day can still hold meaning, comfort, or reflection. You can experience it in a way that feels right for you, if you so choose.
I’m a mom to a 25 yr old son, and I’m fortunate that my mom is still here on this earth. My choice is to spend time with both of them on Mother’s Day if I can. I might even sneak away and do something just for myself, as I really enjoy that solitude. That is the glory of any day…we get to choose how we invest our time and energy no matter what. And I know not everyone has this luxury to choose -especially on such a day…sometimes the way it is is the way it is. And while I don’t know exactly what that’s like, I understand it’s complexity.
(the left pic is my son when he was little. He doesn’t like me to post on social media as much anymore, so this is a great representation of him now. The right pic is of my mom and me, taken when I was about 3 by my aunt Fran.)
I realize many struggle with the energy that surrounds this day in particular. Motherhood may have been a dream you had that never came to be. Or your relationship with your mom or your child is tarnished and it’s a hard day of emptiness. This could be the first Mother’s Day without her. This could now be a time of year you hate being reminded that your child is no longer here, or has cut ties with you. You might be navigating a complicated relationship. You might even be doing the complete opposite and are choosing to pour love into yourself and only yourself on this day. However you show up to this day, here are a few thoughtful ways to acknowledge it.
Write a Note from the Heart
You don’t have to be a poet to write something meaningful. Consider writing a short message to someone you care about, perhaps even if they have passed, or to yourself. It might be a thank you, a memory, or something you wish you had said. The simple act of writing can bring a surprising sense of release or connection. You can choose to share the note with that person, tuck it away in a drawer, or burn it as a quiet (or roaring loud) ritual.
I’ve always enjoyed creative writing. (and now with the assistance of Chat, I can get some of those complex thoughts out more easily!) Growing up I had this fun stationary, several journals to jot thoughts down. And today, I try to pick up a pack of blank note cards that are beautifully decorated or have something meaningful in it’s design so I can write whatever the heck I want to, and then I send it to that person. I’ve not written to myself in a while. Maybe I’ll do that.
Share an Experience
Sometimes the best gift is quality time. That’s my love language - TIME. I always tell that to my son when he asks me what I want for a gift. Just time, kid, JUST. TIME! You can take a friend, family member, or go by yourself on a small outing. Try a movie, a painting class, or even a spontaneous road trip with the windows down! If you’re not up for company, by all means, go solo. Experiencing something new or comforting is a beautiful way to mark the day with intention.
Find Joy in Browsing the Isles of Local Shops
Step into a locally owned shop or boutique in your area, and give yourself permission to wander through the displays in the store. These places often hold special finds, tons of beautiful colors everywhere, and quirky items that bring a smile. (I found one of my favorite coffee mugs at one of these stores!) My eyes love the aesthetically pleasing display of colors in the store’s displays, so it really does spark some joy with me. Pick out something for someone you love or find a small delight just for yourself. Or walk out not spending a dime, knowing you had some moments of happiness while there.
When I was in a down time in life, I’d make it a point to meet up with one of my childhood best friends and we’d do lunch, and then afterwards, browse in a small boutique store nearby. This helped uplift my spirits and for a moment just touch, feel, laugh, and get that sensory overload of happy while in the store. Grateful for those moments!
Contain Magic with Seeds, Flowers & Succulents
Instead of buying cut flowers, visit a nursery and choose blooms or greenery that can be planted in a container. (CONTAIN the magic. See what I did there?! ChatGPT did NOT help me with that one! That’s all me. Serenity NOW.) The container can be planted in honor of someone, of you can even make a contained garden space in your yard for a special tribute or to create a new space. Pollinators love all sorts of wildflowers! In one of the pics below, you’ll see an old bird bath that I had turned into a succulent garden. That was a little healing spot for me - like my quick little getaway.
I can imagine you’re filling a container on a balcony or adding life to a raised garden as I write this! There’s something grounding and calm about putting your hands in the dirt and helping something thrive.
Something else to consider is seed packets and starting from scratch! New life awaits growth just with a little sunlight, water, soil and lotsa love! It’s hard to believe what can come from a seed. I remember growing up we had this spot in our yard where anything we planted went bananas in size. One year it was marigolds. They were as tall as me, and their blooms looked like carnation-sized. As it went to seed, I remember being excited to gather those pointy black seeds with a hint of white “feather” on top. I still enjoy harvesting seeds to this day, and find happiness in the adventure of planting gardens from seed year after year. (note: Stratify seeds over the winter if you plan to attempt to put them in the ground the following spring!)
Let Your Story Live On Through Photography
Photographs have the power to hold emotion and preserve stories. Consider booking a photo session for yourself or gifting one to someone you love with a gift voucher. In my 15 years of being a photographer, I’ve had the honor of photographing best friends, multi-generational families, and individuals who simply wanted to be seen as they are. You don’t need a reason to capture a moment! Doing it for yourself is reason enough.
My studio offers gift certificates in increments of $50. We can help you tailor a specific session for yourself or for a loved one to make sure your story is told for generations to come. For more info, reach out here.
Connect with Nature
The gift that can be completely FREE and FREE-ING at the same time. Go outside, even if for a few moments. Walk around one of the nearby lakes, find a local trail, or visit a city park. If walking isn’t an option, consider a slow drive through scenic spots. You might be tempted to bring earbuds, but give yourself the chance to be fully present. Let the air, the birdsong, and the quiet settle in. Dance in the setting sun if you want.
Speaking of dance…in the last 2 years I’ve found I’m really into the Northern Lights! I’m no pro when it comes to photographing the night skies by any means, but with a little bit of Youtube searches, I was able to find some settings that work for my camera to create a time-lapse video of Lady Aurora’s dancing magnificence. This might be a fun adventure to do with someone you care about or by yourself! The moments happen when they happen, there’s no real prediction, but definitely something that brings a new sense of wonder to life if you get to experience them.
Northern Lights Timelapse video from Monda Goette Photography in Minnesota.
Support a Local Spot in Town
Try a new café, restaurant, or bakery in your area that you’ve not been to yet. Sharing a meal with someone special can be fun, and going solo can be just as meaningful. Bring a notebook, savor a pastry, and enjoy the atmosphere, knowing you are helping a local business keep their dreams alive. New surroundings can offer a gentle shift in perspective.
So many places are dog-friendly these days, try a place that let’s Fido come along!
Look Back at Old Photographs
(Cue the song “Photograph” by Nickelback)…. “look at this photograph, every time I do it makes me laugh”
Take out those boxes or albums of printed photographs. Spend time with your memories. The power of print is huge. I’ll never stop believing in this. You may come across pictures of people you miss or stages of life that feel far away. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Reminiscing can be emotional, but it can also be a reminder of resilience and growth.
I invite you to look back on an old post of the power of a printed photograph which is a special blog entry I dedicated to my late friend Jenny who we lost at the age of 37 and the emotional meaning of what it’s like to look back on photos in print when that’s all we have left. She would be 49 this June. Her mom (whom I have referred to as #2 mom in our past) recently passed away this year also.
My friend Jenny and I
the year before she died.
Visit my post about the power of a printed photograph here.
Mother’s Day doesn’t have to look a certain way. It can be filled with hugs and celebration, or it can be quiet and thoughtful. It can be a moment of joy, reflection, grief, or gratitude. However you choose to honor the day, know that your way is the right way.
Wishing you peace, comfort, and moments of brightness in whatever form you need most.
Fondly,
Monda the Photographer
